Lesson 44 Speed and Comfort
Which form. of transport do you prefer?
By Yin Zeng
Each form. of transport has its own advantages, but nothing can match cars for freedom and convenient. (convenience才是名詞哦)
Driving has many advantages. You can go everywhere you like in your car. Cars don't runs slower than a common train. You can drive at a high speed along the motorway. If you have a big car, it would not be boring along the way. You can play cards in it. After being tired (現在分詞用得恰當), you have already seen the destination. (see the destination的表達有些奇怪,不如arrive at/get to好) You can also carry an iPad when you are on the journey. When you arrive, you needn't worry about the time. You can stay there as long as you like. You needn't look for the buses to the scenic spots. You also needn't be anxious about the food is not your taste (about后面加賓語,可用定語從句來修飾food). You can decide everything yourself.
I think driving is the best way of travelling.
文章結構比較完整。中間一段闡述了開車相比其他交通方式的便捷之處和優勢。要注意審題,既然寫的是你更喜歡的交通方式,還是應該寫my opinion~ 避免一些語法錯誤,句式還可以再豐富些。總體不錯!
By Pan Wenlei
You may feel surprised at the form. of transport I prefer for long-distance journeys because of the selection -- ship.(because of the selection可以省略,直接引出ship) You may think it will cost you too much time to arrive at your destination, but the advantage is superior to the disadvantage of it.
Trips by sea or cruises offer a great variety of civilized comforts. You can stretch your legs on the spacious decks, play games, swim, meet interesting people and enjoy good food--always assuming.(assuming what?? 這是書上的句子,可以嘗試paraphrase嗎?) You can choose a sunny day, lying on (現在分詞表示伴隨狀語)a chair on deck to enjoy sunbathing. With the sea wind blowing over the deck, your hair dancing (這里dance應該用做動詞而不是非謂語哦)in the air. You will be deeply attracted by the sparkled sea in the sunlight.
Although you will not be satisfied with the speed of the trips by sea, you will be attracted by the breathingtaking charm of it. Written description cannot completely describe its enjoyment. It is really worth trying.
Trip by sea的特點描述得比較詳盡。全篇的人稱都是you,最好能根據要求以第一人稱來寫,課文中的句子如果能用自己的話來說就更好了~!
By Yu Xue
When it comes to my favorite transport for long distance journeys, I prefer ship best (prefer和best不能同時出現哦). As we all know, the most serious thing of a ship journey is seasickness. Luckily, I don’t have a seasickness, so I can perfectly enjoy a ship journey. (此句可以稍作修改,Fortunately, I can enjoy a ship journey without the trouble of seasickness.更精練些~) I think a ship journey is a little like an air one. They are both comfortable, have many different kinds of services and delicious food. (這兩句可合并:Similar to air journey, a ship journey features comfort, various services and delicious food.) Sometimes a ship even has some entertainment facilities for passengers. And a ship is much safer than a plane. Although it may take a long time, I can enjoy the amazing view during the journey which is also a relaxation of travelling.(定語從句) A ship ticket isn’t too expensive, so it can save a lot of money for the travelling. In a conclusion, I really enjoy a ship journey, and I think I can feel great fun from it.
文章內容很完整,將ship journey 的優勢逐一列出,還包括了與travel by air的對比。使內容更充實。句式可以嘗試多變化些,尤其是簡單句與長句的使用。文中的銜接詞用得不錯,還可再多些邏輯性的連接詞~!
期待其他同學的作品哦~n_n