各位童鞋大家好~
長(zhǎng)假讓大家練練筆寫(xiě)一篇和課文相關(guān)的作文（三選一），這里收到不少同學(xué)的佳作，拿出來(lái)與大家一起分享，一起學(xué)習(xí)哦！
篇幅較多，分批上哈~ 以下是第35課 “伸張正義”篇，第33課“連鎖反應(yīng)”篇請(qǐng)移步至：http://blog.onlycollege.com.cn/78345/viewspace-24935
※ L35 P164 write an imaginary account of the thief’s experiences up to the time he was freed by fire fighters
By Zhang Yuxiang
The fire fighter arrived in time and saved the thief. He was very thankful to the firemen and the shop assistant. He admitted that he had tried to enter the shop to steal something, but he was stuck in the chimney and got nothing. He told anything (招供一切不如用everything) to the police and was taken into the car. On the way to the police station, the thief thought that he was too unlucky last night.
On the other hand, he thought that he was so lucky because he was saved by the firemen instead of death.
短文描述了被解救后thief的表現(xiàn)和內(nèi)心活動(dòng)。最后不妨再寫(xiě)幾筆有關(guān)thief以后的打算（如是否繼續(xù)行竊或者吃一塹長(zhǎng)一智以后進(jìn)入店內(nèi)的通道選擇…）大部分句子開(kāi)頭都是人作主語(yǔ)，可以嘗試多用些分詞結(jié)構(gòu)，讓句子變得立體而有層次哦！
By Fang Jiahao
Ask For Trouble
The large jewellery store had been my target for nearly a week. I kept close watch on the shop but there’s no good chance for me to take action. But then I noticed the chimneys. I found that the store was an old converted house with those tall chimneys. (學(xué)以致用old converted很好! 以后多用就可以變成自己的詞匯了~) I couldn’t help hiding my excitement (想表達(dá)的意思是“掩藏不住自己的興奮之情”，用cannot help doing 意思就是情不自禁地掩飾啦，推薦用: can hardly conceal my excitement) and at that night, I climbed on to the roof. Moonlight was bright, I saw that the chimney seemed wide enough to let me in. (能想到環(huán)境描寫(xiě)作為襯托，但前后兩句需要連接起來(lái)，不妨用分詞或介詞短語(yǔ)，如under the bright moonlight) I went down slowly with my tools and my bag. It is wide at the top of the chimney, but I got stuck at (in) the middle of it. I had no choice but to climbed up again. (別無(wú)選擇只能做，have no choice/alternative but to do sth.) Believe that good luck will come, (這里要用現(xiàn)在分詞哦，believing that good luck will accompany me, 這樣是不是更形象呢) I went down another chimney. This one seemed wider than the first one—this was what I am thinking when I got stuck in that chimney again. I tried to get back, but then I realized I could neither climb up nor down. Fear attacked me. (心里滿是恐懼，很貼切~！) I shouted for help but no one could hear me in this cold night. Everything was dark and silent. I even thought I would die in that dawn (dawn 在這里神馬意思？) chimney! Next morning, I heard the voice of shop assistants—HOPE! I shouted as loudly as I can. Thanks the God, finally, firefighters came and freed me.
整篇文章以第一人稱(chēng)來(lái)刻畫(huà)“我”是如何行竊的。讓讀者有深刻剖析thief內(nèi)心的感覺(jué)，身臨其境。除了寫(xiě)我的行竊思路和行動(dòng)外，還不忘用環(huán)境來(lái)點(diǎn)綴一番。使文章完整，緊湊，流暢。再加上ask for trouble貼切的標(biāo)題，堪稱(chēng)課文前傳~ 有使用長(zhǎng)句，分詞結(jié)構(gòu)的想法，但要用對(duì)哈~總體不錯(cuò)！繼續(xù)努力！
By Gao Shuyi
When a thief was walking pass (pass不能做介詞，只有past可以哦) a large jewellery store, he had the idea that he could break into the store and steal a huge number of jewelleriesy diamonds and pearls which are worth tens of thousands of pounds. (值多少錢(qián)不要漏掉be動(dòng)詞，或者不用定語(yǔ)從句，直接pearls worth …也可) He had been planning the theft for a long time and he kept close watch on shop day by day. (時(shí)態(tài)用得好)
One day, he was staring at the shop when he suddenly noticed that the store has many large fireplaces and tall chimneys. Then he had a plan. One night, at about two o'clock, there were no people on the street and the store was quiet, he climbed on to the roof and tiptoed to one of the chimneys. The chimney was wide enough so he slowly went down, but he got stuck. However, he managed to climb up again. He didn't lose hope and he tried a second time. He went down another chimney carefully. Unfortunately, he got stuck again. He tried to move but this time he was firmly stuck. He was like a mouse in a trap. (比喻生動(dòng)形象) He could neither climb up nor down. Feeling frightened, he cried for help, but everything was dark and quiet. He was terrified and he shouted the next morning. Luckily, the muffled cry was heard by a shop assistant. The girl ran to tell the manager who rang up the fire brigade. With great difficulties, he was eventually freed by the fire fighters.
整個(gè)故事能流暢地描寫(xiě)出來(lái)，通過(guò)一系列動(dòng)詞將thief的偷竊刻畫(huà)得十分具體，逼真，如tiptoe, got stuck, lose hope, try a second time等。句子之間的聯(lián)系可以再用一些連接詞強(qiáng)調(diào)一下，讓文章變得更為緊湊。
